Valarie's Blog

15 FastScraps Templates in the store!

2010-06-18T15:23:00.003-05:00

Wow... I guess I am taking a page from Anna Aspnes and first making stuff that *I* need and want to work with, then setting it up to sell. I love how she is true to her family first when she makes photobooks, and then puts the tested items up for sale. :) She is truly a wonderful teacher!

So, currently being a linear-graphic-wanna-jam-tons-of-photos-on-one-page person (LOL), I have been creating templates in Photoshop to use for my own pages and then sell in the store.

So far, people seem to like them and think they will be useful, and for that I am very happy. That's the whole point. No reason to packrat and just collect kits and things because you might need them someday. Do much of that, and a computer fast becomes as cluttered as a house can. I really need to know that what I am creating has value in usefulness.

I have been neglecting both of my classes, but they are touted as self-paced, and nobody seems to have a problem with some of us being behind. I find that I work best with a solid deadline, and in big chunks of inspired time. Haven't been inspired to work on the photography class, though I figured I'd consider it more of a reference than anything. I regret that the other class is the one that has seized my passion to such an extent that I spend all of my time on it. :) But... I do need to spend some totally irresponsible time for myself in the summertime or I find I get irritated at being expected to march to someone else's beat.

Busy lately, and SICK!

2010-06-14T01:37:00.005-05:00

Well, I said I was going to be getting back to work, but I didn't count on some things:

Becoming totally disheartened by my design work (I took a break and forgot a lot of stuff I actually did know how to do...)
My real job becoming a heavy weight on my heart. I think it's because my personal life is too empty, and it's hard to get my fulfillment in life from my job. Yeah, I need a change. In a big way, and I don't know how to make that happen. But anyway....

Oh, and I spent all of the fall and most of the winter pretty much sick as a dog! I developed pneumonia over Labor Day weekend (I won't go into what triggered it, because I'm still resentful it could have been avoided) and didn't realize how sick I was until I was well into it and presumably getting better. But... I was afraid I'd once again go to the doctor and they "couldn't find what's wrong" and they'd treat me like a hypochondriac once again. I hate that, being someone who doesn't go to the doctor unless I'm in a LOT of pain... So I thought I was getting better, then I'd relapse. I doubt a doctor could have helped. Then my allergies hit me. I got better from that and had a week's peace, then I caught a cold. I thought I was out of the woods... by the time Christmas arrived, I was SURE I was well again. Tired and weak, but well.

Nope. Right after Christmas, I got the flu. My sister was having a little family shindig for New Year's, and by then I was feverish and hurting and wasn't taking a chance on passing it on to anybody I loved. So I quarantined myself. (I was beginning to think an awful lot about The Stand at that time.) And one morning I woke up to find something so badly wrong in the upper right part of my shoulder and neck that I was having trouble moving. I think the flu germs / whatever attacked the nerves in there, because it sure did hurt and I hadn't done anything but lie around trying to rest and get well. *sigh* It took a full 6 weeks for that pain to go away, during which I had a horrible time just using my right arm and being able to turn my head.

I never did go to the doctor because when I felt my worst, I couldn't drive, and when I was feeling better, I thought I was getting well. What's the point of going to the doctor then?

Besides, I've lost all faith in doctors that treat their patients like potential drug addicts. They just don't understand. I don't WANT pills or any other drugs. I just want to get WELL! I hate the obligation that comes with taking medications, and I put off taking Tylenol because I don't want to NEED anything pharmaceutical. Hey, people who really and truly know me understand why I avoid taking anything whenever possible. I've never had a problem like that but I've known too many people that have, and I hate seeing what they have done to themselves.

.........

I found a saving grace this spring in the classes I took online at reneepearson.com. I took Collage 101 (Renee Pearson) and Album Magic (Anna Aspnes) and they were worth every penny! More than just learning some new techniques in Photoshop, I felt like I had found a place among like-minded friends and I actually accomplished things! I finished 3 full-length+ printed photo books by the time the Album Magic class was over.

Needless to say, that really jazzed me for doing my own work. Right now, I'm into template making, and so far they seem to be selling, which makes me happy. If there's one thing I hate, it's completing a project and getting no outside validation for it. LOL I need people to approve! :)

I've shared my photobooks on Facebook and gotten positive response there.

Oooh! Last summer it became necessary to replace my no-frills flip phone (charger port broke) so I decided to get the biggest, baddest, 3GS iPhone on the market. I have loved it, and I especially love the Shutterfly app that lets me look at all the photos / layouts I've uploaded to my account. It helps me keep tabs on layouts I've completed so that I don't forget about them.

I have become forgetful, and I'm not even 40 yet. LOL I think it's stress. Yeah, I do. Successful completed projects make me happy, though, so I think I'll focus my spare time on doing that. Less Warcraft, more design.

Getting Back to Work

2009-10-15T11:10:00.003-05:00

I realize it has been a long time since I have posted anything here in my blog, so I'm going to give it another shot. :) I also haven't done much designing in the past year, which is a shame, because I really enjoy it when I feel I'm being successful at it.

There have been a LOT of areas of my life with which I have been unhappy in recent years, and if you think a few months of random depression are bad, wait until you have had 20 years of time alone with your thoughts, and an inner critic who really does blame all of those bad events of the past on you.

My mother died unexpectedly in January, but I got to have her last two days with her, and literally in her last hour, I made my peace with her about several things, and then she was gone. I know I didn't cry much at the funeral or for a long time after that, but now I cry whenever I think about her and it doesn't show signs of ever stopping. I suppose that's just how I deal with it - put all the hurt on a shelf and push it to the back of the closet, and it eventually falls out on my head.

The conscious part of me tries to know better, but subconsciously, I really believe I should have had some kind of superhuman ability to keep bad things from happening to me. Like that gut feeling I should have been able to stop 2 different exes from trying to kill me, just for a thrill. I didn't do anything to provoke it - it was just something in their twisted little heads that led them to it. Jennifer is right... my creep meter seems to be broken. I don't actually like this type of man, and I sure as heck can't spot them early on. *sigh* Now you know why I don't date anymore. There are good ones out there... I'm just not interesting enough for them. :)

So anyway, I guess I am going back with a fresh start! I am now teaching a Technology class, which incidentally, includes teaching Photoshop CS4 to my students. Now, how about that?? I would never have dreamed of the possibility, but as luck would have it, I'm pretty decently versed in Photoshop Elements 7 now, so CS4 is going to be a subject I can shine in, and give me a feeling of confidence, once again.

I was burned out on teaching English. Yes, I will always love reading and having kids enjoy reading in my class was a huge happy boost for me. Unfortunately, most kids don't like reading, and they are downright resentful when you make them do grammar and writing, and reading they don't like. They expect high grades without earning them, and these days, some kids are savvy enough to know which lies to tell to endanger your job. And they will because they don't care if they literally ruin your life just to get out of doing homework. (I know, they'll have some serious Karma to deal with, but that doesn't help me.) There are plenty of wonderful kids out there - but those others tend to overshadow their presence. I'm an effective teacher in a wonderful school system, but knowing that isn't always enough.

Throw into the mix the understanding that literally all I have to look forward to in my day is my teaching job, and you can probably tell what kind of toll it takes on my psyche to come home from work feeling defeated. Then to get home and find critical emails about my designing work... it creates an environment of fear, and I avoid what I am afraid of. I know I need a thicker skin, but other people should consider that perhaps cutting me isn't helpful to anyone.

As a classroom teacher I KNOW how to provide a useful and caring critique without crushing someone... I wish others cared enough to do the same. And I wish they understood that I am not a stay-at-home mom with all day and all night to be working on my computer, with no worry about paying the bills. So here goes - I am a single woman, a full-time teacher, and I have to take care of everything myself, with nobody to take care of me. I LOVE designing things - it boosts my mood and gives me confidence, but all that spare time people mistakenly think I have is taken up by other things, like all the household jobs they leave to their husbands.

So hey, if you like my stuff, let me know - it keeps me designing and happy. :)

And you know something else - if I'd had a clue about what a graphic designer was, or any confidence that taking art classes in college would have been a success for me, I would probably have taken a different direction in my life. Now, oh NOW I can afford to pay for an art degree for myself, but there are no night art classes that I can get into for degree credit. *sigh* So I teach myself out of books, and never really learn to draw my own stuff...

I do not believe that online classes can really teach me how to draw or paint. (Though I know what fantastic money makers they must be for their respective schools, and that is why they put so much emphasis on them. It's like learning from a book on my computer.) It took being in a class with teachers for me to finally "get" One Stroke painting, and then I took off. There is no substitute for one-on-one interaction with a live teacher in an art class.

It feels a little bit like being stuffed into a jar and somebody putting the lid on it tightly. I can see what's out there, but I can't get to it. If somebody would just take the lid off and let me out....

Anyway, I'm trying an experiment on getting myself to think out of the box with my designing - sort of a takeoff on the journaling jar that some folks use. I can't give details right now, because it is simply a tool I'm in the process of creating for myself, to spur me along when I feel blocked.

American Pride Stars And Stripes Alphabet

2008-07-02T23:36:00.006-05:00

American Pride Stars And Stripes Alphabet

Show your patriotic spirit with the American Pride Stars and Stripes Alphabet!

This complete alphabet has dimensional white stars on a field of blue, on top of red and white stripes, all waving just like a flag in the wind!

The letters are all dimensional and enameled metal in appearance.

Set Contains:

Letters A – Z,
Numbers 0-9,
Punctuation Marks ? ! , . -

All files are separate for maximum program compatibility, and no external shadowing has been applied. Characters appear exactly as they do in the preview picture.

Usage suggestion: I printed these letters at 3 inches, ran them through my Xyron to laminate the front and make the back sticky, and created a neat looking farewell sign for a colleague whose National Guard unit was leaving for Iraq.

Thanks, and have fun!

Tie-Dyed Alphabet Letters in store

2008-07-02T20:37:00.004-05:00

Oooooh Tie Dye!!!

Are you passionate about tie-dyed stuff? This alphabet set is just what you need for that colorful, creative flair on your pages and crafts. Each character is textured to look like scuffed chipboard for that touch of realism you're looking for!

In this set, you will receive:

capital letters from A-Z
numbers from 0-9, and
a variety of
punctuation marks including basic math symbols, type symbols, and even two
different brackets -- 50 characters in all!

I hope you enjoy using them as much as I enjoyed creating them!

These have been available in the store for little while - but as you know I'm just getting back to my blogging, so please come back soon and see what else is new!

Other stuff in the works / brain damage?

2008-07-01T15:54:00.005-05:00

I don't know if you've noticed this or not (or even if anyone is out there reading this. haha) but I finish posts, and then come right back with more posts on different subjects. LOL Does that tell you just what a whirlwind is going on inside my head? It actually kept me from sleeping on Friday and Saturday nights.

I mean NO sleep. I was awake literally ALL night. I couldn't help it - thoughts and ideas were bouncin' around in my brain at a seriously high speed. Even last night, I had to get out of bed, find a notebook and pencil, and sketch some things out because I needed them OUT of my HEAD.

Oooh my hands are simply shaking with the possiblities! Okay, that's really low blood sugar. LOL But I bet you believed me there for a second! :D

I've been so far removed from my work at Digitals for so long that I'm going to have to ask questions of my fellow designers that I am sure are quite elementary. There have been some big (and wonderful) changes at Digitals in the past year, and I haven't fully utilized all of my own opportunities to shine there.

I also seem to have lost a bit of my memory. I blame that on the Topamax I took to prevent my migraines. After I'd been taking it for about a year, they started coming out in the open with warnings that it causes possible brain damage, such as loss in cognitive processing, as well as memory loss. Gee, thinking and remembering? Do I actually need those?

HECK YES! And now mine have been damaged - I can tell, though I believe people I work with have just chalked it all up to me suddenly losing my sanity. (When a former spelling bee winner has trouble spelling the simplest of words, you know there's a problem.) This isn't just a move into middle age. It's actual brain damage, though it is probably fairly slight, lucky for me. My headaches actually increased in frequency, duration, and severity by the time I decided to stop taking it, without even tapering it off. I just stopped there and then and decided that I'd be better off taking nothing than going through that. I do have something else to take when I do get a migraine, and 3 out of 5 times it does the trick with one dose. And other times, I've had a migraine as long as 5 days. Makes even walking pretty hellish, but that's not the point.

Keeping in mind that my memory suddenly became a sieve, I decided that the best thing for me to do when I came up with some good processes for my designs, would be to write them down. So that's another thing that I've been doing - working on my designing "recipes" book, mainly so that I won't forget again how to do some of the neat stuff I've stumbled onto in the past.

Being untrained in Photoshop Elements and again, just lucking into decent looking results, I decided to pay for some real training for myself. If only ANY college in this third of the state offered any training like that outside of a graphic arts program... Just a night class... I'd take it. But no go there, so I am on my own, and that's okay as long as I make progress. And I feel that I am.

Coming very soon for July!

2008-07-01T15:44:00.001-05:00

I'll be releasing several 2009 calendar designs very soon!

Quincy is quiet!

2008-07-01T15:38:00.002-05:00

And though I know you've never met my little year-old Yorkie, you can probably understand that it's a rare moment. Normally as I'm working at the computer, he repeatedly brings me his little squeaky soccer ball to throw for him. 1 out of 10 throws, I have to retrieve it from a place it landed out of his reach, and that throws off my concentration. LOL

But he looooves to play.

If I sit in my chair to work on designing using my laptop, he walks over the keys, and assertively starts trying to lick my face, growling and snarling with all the scariness he thinks he can muster. Ooooh big bad puppy. LOL

I should create a kit and dedicate it to him. hehehe He won't get it, but I'm sure somewhere in that little intelligent brain of his, he'll appreciate it.

I'm Baaaack! LOL

2008-07-01T15:13:00.003-05:00

It's been a really long time since I've posted in this blog. Personal and professional issues intruded into my creative life, and I'm feeling happily creative once again. As long as stress doesn't overwhelm me, I'll be creatin' up a storm!

I've found some really interesting inspiration pieces, and I feel that they will influence my creative process for the better. Now, if the publishing company hadn't waited nearly 6 weeks to ship my paid-for order to me, I'd have been working long before now. It figures that they don't care about people who order from their website. I wonder how they treat their actual subscribers? If I'd been able to buy this stuff locally, I would rather have done that, but my local Wal-Mart and other stores seem determined to squish the creative impulse out of everyone who comes in to shop.

They don't feed my need for creating art. I've realized my locality is a creative black hole. Yikes.

Anyway, I still love working with bold designs and bright colors, but I realized a few years back that my buying all sorts of craft supplies and never using them was foolish. I guess I've been more of a hoarder than a worker, in that respect. However, at the end of the school year I started giving myself permission to use my supplies for other than their strictly named uses. For example, I used some scrapbook paper I was just dying for (and knew I'd never use on an actual scrapbook page) to wrap some Hershey bars and give to people who... seemed like they could use a good dose of chocolate. LOL

Now, that's not a comment on anybody's attitude. Honestly, I think everyone can use a little chocolate every day. "Into each day a little chocolate should fall" - that's how I choose to think of it. When someone just seems to need a little boost, I like to sneak some pretty chocolate their way. The recipients have responded that the best time to get one of these treats is when you really aren't expecting anything to happen at all.

I've toyed with the idea today of offering my help on our school's hospitality committee, but it's one of those things that I fear may overcommit me timewise. I hate that feeling of "I have to..." because it makes me feel as if I exist simply to do someone else's undesirable tasks. But I rationalized that I should start using some of my favorite papers to create cards, and what harm would there be in having a stash of handmade cards already prepared "just in case I might need them." One of the other teachers asked me on more than one occasion if I had any cards there at the school, because she needed one for hospitality FAST (my emphasis only - she was very sweet about the whole thing) and she didn't have an opportunity to leave the school and purchase one unless she skipped lunch. Unfortunately, I couldn't help her out because I hadn't thought ahead.

I probably will keep a stash of cards handy there. I hand made a Father's Day card and two boys' birthday cards this summer and the boys' cards were received pretty well. Two out of three ain't bad, I suppose. LOL 2 cards enjoyed, one tossed aside without further mention. (Okay, it hurt my feelings a little, but I have to have a thicker skin, right?) The point is that I proved to myself that I could make snazzy looking cards that satisfied ME.

Granted, every one took me several hours to create because I agonized over every detail and each sentiment, and actually inset eyelets on them, using a hand punch which bruised my fingers and kept them sore for days. But they were preeeettty when I finished. That made it worth it. Digital brads and eyelets are so much easier on the hands!! LOL

And the tiny scrapbook section at our Wal-Mart only had one box of eyelets to choose from - we don't have ANY other local craft suppliers either. *sigh* I just don't want to drive nearly an hour to Hobby Lobby and come home empty handed, with gas prices the way they are. Too expensive to risk a fruitless trip so far away.

I seem to believe that my crafting had better serve a practical purpose, or people won't see the need to hang onto the finished items. I do myself because I'm a pack rat, but I think I really prefer creating useful things the most.

So the projects I've been working on will be attractive AND useful, rather than simply decorative. I'm also keeping in mind that sometimes someone needs to wrap a gift at work and their color options are limited to a black and white laser printer. Several of my upcoming projects will address that issue, and hopefully they will be useful for even those self-professed non-crafters. I want my designs to be utterly useful!!

Last Day of School....

2006-05-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

And it felt like such an anti-climax...
I was proud of myself for getting to bed an hour early last night... even after grading papers in bed! :) And then the storm hit and woke me back up. *sigh*

So all I can think about now is taking a nap! LOL I don't want to even play with my shiny new box of Prismacolors, and if you know me, you know exactly how jazzed I am about them! Getting mine in high school art was really thrilling for me - I'd never seen such wonderful colored pencils.

I think a nap on the couch is inevitable... My eyes are closing.... *yawn*

Yay! New Calendar Kits!

2006-05-24T17:05:00.000-05:00

I figured that it was about time to get started on calendar kits, so that people could do a little "Christmas in July" work and get started on their holiday calendars earlier this time. I didn't put up my others until September last year, and I think it was pushing it a little close for the procrastinators out there. :)

These are my first two kits, released just today at Digitals.

What's in each kit:
13 transparent calendar overlays: January thru December 2007 and 2007 at-a-glance (all 10"x7")
12 Month Headers
2007 Header
6 sample calendar backgrounds (8.5" x 11")

All that you have to do is place the calendar grid (already numbered) over the background of your choice (you can use any background you like - mine are free samples for you!), and add the month and year (if you like) in the header space. Viola! Instant calendar!

Staple, bind, holepunch, sew... join your calendars in whatever way you like, and you can even use the backgrounds to put photos on the facing pages for the calendars!

Coming soon: 4x6 mini album calendars and calendar background packages, as well as script versions of each calendar set! Plus, some secret new stuff I'm working on, but I'm not ready to spill the beans about yet!

Check back here on my blog - I'm thinking about putting a free sample here for you to try out!

Here's where you can find each kit right now!

2007 Calendar Kit - Horizontal

2007 Calendar Kit - Vertical

Thanks for checking them out! Remember, don't wait until September to start making your 2007 calendars - Start today so that they'll be ready in PLENTY of time!

PS - if you still need some 2006 calendars, they're still available, but for half price! Please click here for a wide selection!

Valarie

Sometimes being right is just no good at all

2006-05-10T00:26:00.000-05:00

My sister called to let me know she won't be helping me paint tomorrow. I figured that. I've been waiting two months now for some help, and I really didn't expect to get it, so it isn't a surprise. I doubt she'll come over Thursday, either. I'm sure something will come up.

And even if it doesn't and she does come over, I'm not so sure that there's any point to painting the rest of the kitchen anyway. I got one set of cabinets finished. It took me a week. Keep in mind that

I prepared the surfaces properly
I removed all of the hardware to paint it too
I used a fairly expensive high-adhesion primer that's supposed to make paint even stick to ceramic tile
I used good quality paint and not the cheap stuff
I put 2 coats of primer on (because I had to)
and I put 2 coats of paint on (because the one coat paint wasn't covering in one coat like it promised to do)

I barely leaned a cabinet door against the cabinet frame until I got the hinges reattached, and it pulled the paint right off the wood. This is paint that's been dry for 24 hours now. What do I do when the paint just starts falling off the rest of the varnished surfaces, which, by the way, cover EVERY square inch of the kitchen walls. This primer was supposed to make the paint bond into the varnish, without sanding. (I tried the sanding and priming route last summer... It took 5 coats of Kilz primer to stop the old varnish and stain from bleeding through the primer and staining it brown.)

So... Kilz 2 doesn't really work. Bullseye 1-2-3 doesn't really work.

I looked up the estimated value of my house (which I desperately want to sell and get out of, because I hate it here) on zillow.com, and it's $13,000 LESS than what I paid for it 5 years ago. Now instead of worrying that the pecan tree is going to fall on the house in a tornado one day, I'm hoping that it does, and crushes me underneath the whole mess, so I'll stop trying to fix up this money (and time) pit. I feel absolutely trapped in this house and my life.

My dog was eating my spinach

2006-05-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

I was sitting on the couch, having a nice baby spinach salad. (One of the few ways I'll consume spinach, but I love it that way.) Terra kept begging for it, so I gave her a piece, and apparently, she loved it. Well, maybe she loved the ranch dressing that was on it. LOL She ate a lot of my spinach! But nowhere near as much as I did.

I was thinking that maybe I ought to up my iron intake this week, since I'm planning on giving blood Thursday. Lifeline sent me a postcard requesting that I do so, so why not? It'll be donation #30 for me with them. I'm working on gallon #4. (There were a few times in college that I donated to a different blood bank from Memphis, but that "didn't count" and they never cared enough to keep up with me. heheh So technically, I've probably already donated 4 gallons of my blood, but it doesn't really matter anyway. It was all for a good cause.

And no, I never got paid for donating blood. :) Sometimes I get a T-shirt though. Actually, considering what I've heard about the paid blood donors from the colleges in Memphis (being drunk or whatever the night before donating), I'm kinda hesitant in the event of an emergency, to accept a transfusion from that bank. Not that I've been in the situation to ever need blood. The one time I had major surgery, I asked the doctor if I should have them store a unit of my blood just in case, but he assured me that what he would be doing didn't really cause a major amount of bleeding. Considering that I watched that being done on the surgery channel before having it done, I wasn't sure what he considered "a lot" of bleeding. (Through most of the surgery, it looked like a bad car accident, and then in about 2 minutes, the surgeon had everything looking like new again. Amazing.) Apparently, it would have to be a few pints. But then again, he wasn't working on an area that was just loaded with blood vessels anyway. Yay.

I guess if I was concerned about being "rewarded," I might not have skipped out on all the banquets they've invited me to for donating more than 3 times in a calendar year. I guess... it's just nice to feel needed and appreciated occasionally. *sigh* Obviously, I don't expect anyone to greet me with, "I love you!" when I get on the bus to donate, but that would probably freak me out if they did. Hearing someone other than my sister and occasionally my dad saying it would thrill me, but I doubt I ever will.

Now that I've finished my salad, I'm having some orange juice, which is supposed to help with iron absorption. I hope it works. It's awfully embarrassing to go to donate and find out you don't have enough iron in your blood, but apparently it's one of those things that happens to lots of people at some time or another, unless they like raw, bloody steaks for dinner.

I'm STILL painting that first set of kitchen cabinets... 2 coats of primer, 2 coats of paint. Turns out that I have to wait 4 hours between coats on the paint itself. Not a problem, until you consider that I have to paint the insides of the doors, wait until they dry, and then paint the outsides. I'm not sure if I'm going to replace the hardware or not. I'd love to put on some brushed steel or nickel pulls, but considering that the current pulls and hinges are a matched set, I'd have to replace all the hinges too. *sigh* I believe that would be too monster of a job for me. Maybe old-fashioned black hardware will look okay on butter yellow cabinets in a cream kitchen? It'll certainly match the outlets in the wall, which are, now that I think of it... all black. LOL If I want white ones... I'll have to rewire them!

Hmmm... the hardware may look okay after all. It'll be black and yellow in the kitchen. The oven right in those cabinets is black.... Lemme see... Why don't I just stencil our school mascot on there and tell everyone I was going for a school spirit thing? Black and gold... Trojans... Yeah, that'd look peachy. hehehe.

After all, the goal is to pretty the place up a bit so I'll be less depressed all the time and so that maybe sometime I'll be able to sell it for a house I'd actually like to live in. I definitely never want to cook when I'm in a dark kitchen. There are people who honestly think I'm lying about being a good cook, because I don't cook much anymore. But the kitchen is currently dark, depressing, and ugly, and it's pointless to cook for myself. There's nobody else for me to cook for.

I hate to say it, but in a lot of ways my life has turned into one huge disappointment. I have a house and two degrees, and nothing else. I'm glad that I have the job I was wanting when I was in college, but spending every day with lots of other people's kids is just a reminder that I won't ever have a chance to have any of my own.

I have so many kids' books on my shelves, that I bought thinking to save them for my own children. Now that I've stopped doing things with my imaginary children in mind (buying a roomy sedan, buying kids' books, making baby quilts and blankets), I'm thinking that maybe I should just start getting rid of all of this unrealistic stuff on eBay.

Kitchen painting time... ick

2006-05-06T13:49:00.000-05:00

If you've ever been in my kitchen, you know it's a 1956, totally knotty pine-covered situation. Cabinets (which, by the way, are solid wood! Well constructed, but so plain...) and planked walls. Wood EVERYWHERE! Even Dad admitted that the overall orange look of the kitchen wasn't a good thing. I guess that's what varnish does after that many eons. I started out priming one set of cabinets the other night, thinking I could get away with not taking all the hardware off... Wrong.

So last night I started removing cabinet doors and hardware. My plan is to take a set of doors outside under the carport today and prime them all in an assembly line. At least I found a primer that lets me get away with not sanding. I discovered last year that sanding and then priming just makes the old stain bleed right through the new primer... To the tune of 5 coats of primer! Okay, so maybe Kilz 2 primer isn't the miracle that it's touted to be. I switched to Bullseye 1-2-3. (I would have used B-I-N, but they didn't sell it here at Wal-Mart. Maybe if I go to Lowe's for a 5 gallon bucket.... But will I need 5 gallons of high adhesion primer for the kitchen? I dunno.)

My sister has generously offered to come over and help me paint the entire kitchen one afternoon next week. I'm not sure how she thinks that's possible, considering that in her house, it took me, her husband, and her two boys an entire day to paint their living room... Just 2 coats of paint, no priming, and no hole-filling.... Okay, maybe she doesn't understand because she didn't actually help with any of the painting in her own house. Yours truly was the primary painter - I had nearly half of the living room painted before her husband got there, actually. (hoping for some good karma on that...) So you can probably understand why I've already started without her. Her expectations are a bit unrealistic.

What my kitchen requires in order to paint it:

Moving out the refrigerator
Moving out the washer
Moving out the dryer
Moving out the kitchen table
Moving out the stoneware rack and baker's rack
A thorough cleaning with ammonia,
a thorough rinsing and then drying, of every wooden surface in the room.
taping off anything I don't want painted
Filling in old nail holes, scratches, gouges, and someone's growth charts on the door frame with wood filler.
THEN, two coats of this special primer, with about an hour between coats for drying and setting time.
THEN, we can paint.

Again, I'm not sure how she thinks that the two of us can accomplish this between 4:00 and 10:00 one day after work next week. Is there something I'm missing here? LOL It sounds to me more like a week's hard labor than an afternoon's light work. Of course, if I were to be brutally honest with her about this, she might never come over.

Update:

I have Dad's power drill and 2 batteries now... be afraid... be VERY AFRAID!!!! LOL (And Dad and my brother both said they'd help me if I asked.... They're sure I'll need help rehanging the cabinet doors. They may be right. I may get the cabinets painted and decide I need all new hardware....)

2nd update:

Darn it! I thought I could speed paint by setting up a work area under the carport and painting all the cabinet doors (for one section) at once - but NOOOOOO. It started raining and the temperature started dropping. It's getting downright cold out there! Now the primer doesn't feel like it's going to dry any time soon and I can't move forward. I think I'm going to go buy some decent drop cloths and turn my living room into a painting room.

National Scrapbook Day - Digitals Scrapbook Week Celebration!

2006-05-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

Wow!!! Lots going on today in the digital scrapping world! Today is National Scrapbook Day, and almost everything I've got for sale in the stores is on sale for some ridiculously low prices! LOL I've donated a $5 coupon for a crop prize at SBB.

Everything at the SBB store is on sale, plus a 25% off coupon code which expires 5/8/06. Code: nsd06

Think that's good? How about GREAT???

Everything of mine at the Digitals store (excluding commercial licenses) is already on sale for 25% off! No special coupon code needed! If you win my coupon, you'll get 25% more, free! (I don't know about you, but getting something free, totally legal, is always cool with me! LOL)

Now, at Digitals we decided that celebrating for one single day just wasn't enough, so we've got lots of festivities all week long! For example, how would you like to get a HUGE MEGA KIT for FREE????

Read this thread for details on how you can download this entire Celebration Mega kit (250 Mb of designs) for free by attending 5 or more Digitals crops from May 6-12. It has tons of wonderful things to scrap with!

I personally contributed 38 backgrounds to this kit, and if you keep checking back to our Daily Downloads section this week, you can pick up an additional 2 backgrounds I created for the kit -- not to mention lots of wonderful extras from other great designers!

Please remember to send your friends directly to the site for the downloads!

At last a decent shower... I hope...

2006-05-02T23:38:00.000-05:00

Okay... I tried two nights in a row to do the "baggie full of vinegar around the shower head" thing to unclog the doggone shower head. It was only halfway spraying, and it was taking me twice as long to get the soap off me and out of my hair. Forget the fact that showering stopped being enjoyable years ago in this house.

Tonight I took the showerhead off and tried boiling it in vinegar to get the gunk out. Did I mention that I have hard water? (No water softeners for me, thanks. I hate slimy showers even worse.) The only stuff that came off or out looked to be the remains of old plumber's putty.

Well, that aggravated me and I decided to put the stupid cheap thing back up with my trusty new insulated channel-lock pliers (and I did get a decent pair, according to Dad) that I bought last night. I thought I'd just go tomorrow and buy a new one to replace it and save myself the frustration. Wrong. Not only could I not get the stupid old showerhead back on completely, but it leaked when I was finished and water wouldn't completely come through the showerhead anymore. There was no way I would be able to shower under it this way. By the way, this shower head was so cheap that it was a one piece plastic thing. There wasn't even any way I could take it apart and poke a wire through the holes to get the stuff out of it. In fact, there weren't any holes that I could find. It wasn't made that way.

Of course, I didn't install this showerhead. It was here when I bought the house. Obviously, whoever bought it was more interested in saving a few dollars than getting something that functioned well.

I was so angry I nearly cried. So I did the only thing I could think of to do at 10 pm on a school night. I called my Dad and begged him for help. When he came over a little while later, his brief assessment was that I probably should replace the showerhead. I think it surprised him that I was thrilled by that answer.

We headed straight to the evil Wal-Mart and I picked out a nice Peerless one for $30 that has a handheld unit with it, and 7 massage settings. I figured it would come in handy for washing the tub, giving Terra a bath... lots of things like that. He pointed out the replacement showerheads that looked an awful lot like the one I was replacing... THEY WERE $1.96 EACH! I know somebody out there is rejoicing over a showerhead that cheap, but when you can't get water to come through it, that's $1.96 too much for them.

I even had Teflon tape in my toolbox already, because of the dumb ex-boyfriend who insisted I buy it so that he could fix my leaky kitchen sink... and he never did. LOL I can't tell that it's leaky... I think there might be a slight condensation problem, but I wouldn't call it a leak. I'll bet that my putting in that shelving unit under the sink probably cut down on the condensation hanging around too.

Anyway, Dad took about 10 minutes to install the new shower for me, and when he finished, the showerhead was literally 8 feet over the shower floor. (I'm only 5'5"!) For a split second I pictured myself trying to reach the controls on tiptoes. Then I realized that he had left the whole thing tilted upward for a laugh. Ha ha, always laughing at the short woman! LOL

It's actually in a better position for showering than the old one was. At least now I won't have to scoot back against the wall to get under the spray. And it's got some rubber jets that you can supposedly flex to break loose mineral deposits. I hope that works.

I am soooo tempted to take a shower before I go to bed, just to try it out, of course. :) But for some strange reason, I'm feeling kind of shy about doing that. Strange thought, isn't it? Maybe it'll make this pain in my kidneys go away for a little while.

Wow! 19 days of school left!

2006-05-02T00:25:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here eating my favorite thing in the world... Plain Hershey bar... just letting it melt on my tongue, piece by piece. :D Because it wouldn't be a good thing to just gobble it up. You have to really savor it. MMMMMM (So if anybody out there is ever in need of an idea for a simple "just because" gift for me when you're dropping by, chocolate is always appreciated. LOL)

Personally, I just think that when you put almonds and other stuff in Hershey bars, you're polluting them. I'd rather have plain M&M's, too.

Before anybody thinks about giving me a lecture about it... just remember... chocolate is good for the soul. :) And if you don't believe me, I can tell you that it's the fastest-acting antidepressant I've ever had. LOL Wanna get me happy and influence me to do questionable things? Feed me chocolate!

I can't believe there are only 19 more days of school left in this school year... so close, and yet so far away. Only 4 weeks till the end... and you know what THAT means... only 10 weeks until the start of the next school year. Well, there went MY summer vacation! You know what they say about wishing your life away? I've been preparing for the end of the school year since January - cleaning out my files and drawers, copying off papers to last me till the end of this year and into the beginning of next year... making plans for next year. Organizing things.

The thing is, we'll only have one day at the end of the school year to average grades, fill out permanent records, AND pack up our classrooms for moving out. (They make us do that EVERY year so they can strip and wax the floors.) I got really angry when one of the custodians came into my room and started harassing me about packing the MINUTE the kids left my room and I was trying to grade exams and finish averages. Somehow, I just think getting my kids moved on to the high school is about a million times more important than bowing to his demands. I almost sicced the curriculum coordinator on him. Hey, she told me I could.

I was about to go off on him (and that's really not like me) if he came in and bothered me again. I got my revenge though. Since he wouldn't give me time to clean up, I just loaded EVERYTHING into my tall 4 drawer filing cabinet... and he had to move it out into the hallway about 40 feet away. LOL I told him that if he'd just given me some space and time, I would have had a chance to lighten it, but noooo, he wouldn't stay off my case long enough for me to do anything but cram it full.

Honestly, though, I arranged things so that most of my stuff, textbooks included, didn't leave our team area. Only my big pieces of furniture got moved. I stacked everything else up on the counters and tops of the cabinets in my classroom, and jam packed the computer desks in the team area with tons of other things. It was nice not to have to go down the hall to the book room to move my stuff back in the first couple of days of school.

Last year we had 2 days... This year we have ONE. That's why I started in January.

Yikes, I need to start working on my final exam!

Eek! I should be in bed!

I started priming my kitchen cabinets last night. I've been looking at the can of primer and the painting stuff in my kitchen floor for about 3 weeks now, dreading starting. So I did the only thing I could think of to force myself to commit to the job: I went ahead and started two cabinets. So now I HAVE to finish the rest of the cabinets, or it'll all look awful.

Yes, I'll admit that I played a mind game with myself, against my own procrastination. I feel better now that I've started. hehehe I think I even found the color of buttery yellow paint that I want to paint them: "Mangrove Yellow." Then... the rest of the knotty pine kitchen... Even Dad agreed that though the primer coat currently looks awful (I guess he didn't realize there was only ONE coat at the time!), it had already brightened up the kitchen a whoooole lot. Maybe if I get it all brightened up in there, SOMEONE will remember his promise to help me put in new floors.

Want to know something strange about me? When I was a little girl, I always wanted my bedroom to be painted yellow. I knew it would make me feel more cheerful to be in a bright, sunny room. Yellow made me HAPPY, especially when the sun came up shining right into my bedroom window. Which is, I'm certain, precisely the reason why my stepmother insisted on painting my bedroom gray when I was in high school. Gee, what teenage girl doesn't want a bedroom painted gray, with brown carpet, orange blinds (not my idea - she had NO taste!), and someone else's broken-down furniture and yard sale bedding?

Am I being ungrateful? After all, for the bedroom she frilled up for my dad and herself, she painted the walls pink, and got the plushest mauve carpet you've ever seen. I know it cost more than the rest of the carpet in the house..... She got special carpet for herself... we got something resembling artificial turf.

You know, this is the point in my life at which I have to look back with some serious regrets. And speaking as a nice, responsible teacher who has always been a nice, responsible girl, I have to say that I should have had some rebellious phase along about then and just done what I darn well pleased. I'm convinced that there's nothing that could have been taken away from me. All I was allowed to do was work and go to school, and occasionally go out on a date if it didn't interfere with my work schedule... When I got off work at 9:15, SHE still insisted my curfew was 10 or 10:30. (For pete's sake... you couldn't even go to a movie in that length of time!)

And for the record... I participate in charitable things because I want to... not because someone sends me an email at work and tells me they want me to cook dinner for someone else's family come Thursday. If I'd wanted to do that, I'd have signed up when they asked for volunteers. Cooking dinner for someone else's family will cost me more than my entire week's grocery bill. I'm getting darn sick and tired of the married people trying to tell me what to do. I felt like responding back and saying to this very rude person, "You've got a mortgage and all of the same bills that I do, I'm sure, but I'll bet your HUSBAND is a big help in paying for all of that. Consider that I have to pay all of my bills myself, and I don't have the luxury of having someone pay them for me." Good grief, most nights *I* don't eat dinner! Who is this woman to think that she can just tell me to cook dinner for someone else.

I'm sorry the other lady is incapacitated, but you know, her family is NOT, and I think it's a bit excessive to think that we should all be providing all the meals for them from now until some undetermined point in the future. It's been going on for over 2 months now already. Personally, I just can't afford to support someone else's family when I'm doing all I can to support myself.

(And by the way, the orchestrator of this whole thing is the same one who passed the hat around for something she wanted to take credit for, and when she didn't like the totals, sent her students around demanding more money because she didn't feel that we'd been generous enough. I wasn't going to be generous TWICE to the same family - knowing that insurance had already paid all of their bills.)

I'm also getting tired of getting invitations to baby and bridal showers for total strangers. I'd feel uncomfortable going to a shower for a person that I don't even know, so why am I expected to stay home but send a gift, again to someone who doesn't know me from Adam? If I ever get married or have a baby, are these strangers going to show up at showers for me? Of course not. LOL I'd be embarrassed to know that someone hosting a shower for me was sending gift requests to people I didn't even know! That takes a lot of nerve, don't you think?

All right, enough griping... I guess I just miss my cute fella. *sigh* I fall in love with the most inappropriate guys.... they never love me back. Figures.

United 93

2006-04-26T00:46:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how I feel about that movie being made. I know that it was made with the cooperation of the victims' families, but something about it bothers me, knowing that it's not fictional.

With the exception of the first plane that crashed, I watched everything that happened on tv September 11th, as live as it was broadcast. Just like millions of other people did. I cried all day. I wish I hadn't watched the video crews that were recording in the lobby of the World Trade Center before it collapsed, hearing bodies hitting the roof of the building. I still haven't gotten that sound out of my head.

Maybe it would be easier to distance myself from that particular crash, if I hadn't ever met anyone who was on the flight. But I had, about a year before, when I was in New Jersey setting up an inventory system on our warehouse computers at Crafts ala Cart.

It was kind of cute, the way Patti and Jana referred to Jeremy, before I met him. "Did you meet the really cute guy down the hall??? Oh my gosh, he is SO hot! But he is SO married and such a wonderful husband. His wife is SO lucky." Don't forget to put the Joisey accent in there. :) I came home speaking with that accent myself. It confused a lot of people, me included.

It wasn't like I got to know him or anything - I was only introduced to him and the fellow he worked with, and that was it. He really was one of those nice guys that's really great to be friends with.

Not that I had to personally deal with what happened to him, but my friends did, and that affected me.

Seems like there was something else I really wanted to say, but it slipped my mind. I'll come back and edit if I remember.

We had a NASTY hail and windstorm this evening. The hail came first - it sounded like someone was throwing large rocks at the windows. They were the size of golf balls! Then I went out under my carport to look at the sheer volume of hail on the ground, and the wind hit.

Those killer straight-line winds that they say can kill even though they're "not a tornado".... I mean they came from out of NOWHERE! The pear tree in my front yard bent double when the wind hit, and my neighbor's patio umbrella went flying. I'll be surprised if the pole didn't go through something when it stopped a few houses down. When the tree folded over, my thought was of that gigantic, brittle, 50 year old pecan tree hanging over the house and the carport, and I ran in the house immediately. Then the rain hit, and the whole world turned grey. My yard flooded, and later when I went out, I noticed that my neighborhood is kinda messed up. Torn up trees and leaves everywhere.

I'm SO glad it wasn't a tornado. I'm also glad that my 30 foot tall pear tree was limber enough to bend without snapping in half. But it was creepy seeing it come at my suddenly like that.

I'm worried that I'm going to find a hail-beaten, drowned baby bird in my backyard tomorrow. :( When I went out to unsuccessfully mow the yard, I saw it moving. It had obviously fallen out of the nest too soon. The nest which momma bird has ripped down my soffit to build...

There was a snake worrying that poor little bird. I don't think the snake was big enough to eat the bird, but it was just too creepy. The snake slithered away when I brought the lawn mower within about 10 feet to look. I guess he didn't like the vibrations. Fine with me.

I'm about to hoe away lots of snake habitat in my yard. I'm sure they won't mind living under the shed, but I don't like it a bit when even a garter snake startles me. I think that's how most snake injuries occur. People hurt themselves trying to get away from snakes. You have to understand, though, that the garter snakes in my yard would make any snake collector very proud. They're HUGE! Three feet long and big enough around that I could barely get my fingers around them... not that I'd try.

Waaaah! I sound awful!

2006-04-21T23:22:00.000-05:00

"The Phantom of the Opera" is playing in the living room, and as much as I love to sing along with the movie (all of it), I can't quite get past the fact that I sound like a hoarse frog. :( I sound terrible right now. My voice totally cracks if I try to hit anything in the soprano range. On the other hand, I wasn't having any trouble singing the Phantom's parts... *rolling eyes*

I'm still coughing my way through allergy-induced bronchitis, which makes me feel asthmatic after I finish a coughing fit. I just can't catch my breath, doggone it. Why would someone do this to herself deliberately by smoking, I have to wonder?

I think by Monday, I may have my sense of smell back. At least my nose isn't running like crazy anymore.

I've been enjoying the free air conditioning mother nature's been providing the past couple of days. Nice and cool outside, and opening the windows makes it the perfect temperature in the house. I'm hoping I can make up for those two months of $250 utility bills.

I KNOW that was mainly the gas bill - the cost has skyrocketed around here, and I'm sure that my clanky water heater is not helping matters any. If I can get someone to watch over me when I turn off the gas, I'll try draining the sediment out of it sometime this weekend and see if that doesn't end the clanking and improve its efficiency.

It would be nice if I could install one of those tankless water heaters that Rinnai makes instead of replacing this gas heater with another one. I heard on the radio this morning that the government will give consumers who put them in a $300 tax credit. That's pretty nice. It ought to work out to about $100 in actual tax relief. Still, they say that those things pay for themselves in four months. Let's see... 4 months x $250 = $1000. Hopefully one wouldn't cost $1000! But I'll bet that I'd have to get some qualified person to both install it and close off the gas line to where the water tank used to be. I'm sure that even if the heater only cost $600, the other $400 would be installation and shipping costs. Hmm... might be worth it though. I bet it would increase the resale value of my house.

It would certainly eliminate that icky gas smell when the heater refills and kicks on. Why is it that I'm the only one sensitive enough to notice that smell? On the other hand, I knew that someone had eaten microwave popcorn several hours before (a couple of weeks ago) because I could smell a faint scent of the butter flavoring on his hair. LOL Not that I think he got THAT into his popcorn... It was kinda funny. He gave me the strangest look when I asked him if he'd been eating popcorn earlier... microwave popcorn, specifically.

Well, it's been mentioned to me before that I seem to notice more subtle fragrances than the average person does, to the point of recognizing the specific uh, scents of the people I know. LOL Okay, maybe I'm just part dog. Woof.

I've been working on my uh... disaster prep kit, and now it lives in a rolling suitcase that is almost too heavy to carry. LOL And it doesn't even have water in it. But it's got pretty much everything I'd need if I had to grab a bag and run in case of an earthquake or tornado. Shoes, sturdy clothes, duct tape, food, bathroom stuff.

When the pecan tree falls on my house and squishes me, let's just hope that I'm in my bedroom at the other end of the house at the time. I'll definitely be better off. I'm still not comfortable with the fact that my "safe place" is a bathroom sandwiched between the gas lines going to my water heater and the gas lines going to my central heating unit. I'm gonna get toasted like a marshmallow if they rupture and I'm in that bathroom or the hallway beside it! It's the only "central safe place" Oh, and don't forget that the pecan tree is hanging over that part of the house. Eek.

Maybe I should just go and hide in my bedroom closet??? It's on the end of the house, but wouldn't that be safer than being squashed and flambeed?

I hate oak trees...

2006-04-20T01:41:00.000-05:00

The pollen is killing me right now. As if the incurable headache from the stuffy sinuses and the inability to use my nose weren't bad enough, I've got bronchitis.

Why does it always turn into bronchitis with me? Nonstop coughing... I guess the solution would be for me to sleep on my stomach until my allergies have stopped hounding me.

Perfect Illustration of Irony

2006-04-18T00:28:00.000-05:00

First, let me say that I'm known for my inability to have a decent picture taken of me. On the rare occasion that one is made, something invariably happens to that photo. For example, one year I had the most perfect picture taken of me at work, and I ordered a set of prints. When they arrived, they'd all been cropped... right under my chin. All of the pictures were ruined.

Three weeks ago when the students got their spring pictures back, mine weren't with them. I hadn't had to have mine made, but I figure that the more times I have it done, the better my chances are of getting an acceptable one.

The kids had to turn their picture money in last Thursday... So what do I find in my mailbox today? My proof. Along with a stack of wallet-sized pictures (32 of them) printed on the worst quality cardstock. No full-sized proofs to look at.

Oh, what's the ironic part, you ask? The picture was a really good one, and I would have bought a set if they'd just given me the opportunity.

More irony - I was going to scan the picture, but now my scanner doesn't work (along with my DVD player). I had to take a photo with a digital camera and fix as much as I could with the colors from the bad lighting in the room, and then fog out the borders of the picture, because the picture company messed them up. So, yes, I'm aware that the picture I've shared looks kinda rough. The real thing looks much nicer.

So here I am... proof positive for anyone who doesn't believe just how little makeup I wear to work these days. LOL You're seeing lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara, and nothing else. (No foundation, no eyeshadow, and I think I even forgot to wear blush that day.) I could look really glamorous if I put on the rest of it, but I haven't noticed anybody looking at me when I do, so why waste the effort? If nobody's gonna look, I ain't gonna bother. :)

Just completed 5 years of work :D

2006-04-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying, if I wanted to start an onion farm, or maybe a "Scary Giant Foot-Long Worm" Farm, I'd be all set. Apparently, snakes and worms love my yard so much they grow to ridiculous sizes. And yes, I saw a snake today. He was in my lavender. Eek. Now I don't want to weed my lavender, because he was two feet long.

Hey Paul, are ya jealous of my SNAKES??? Didn't think so! LOL

I was out in the front yard transplanting little hostas under the pear tree this afternoon, because I finally started feeling a little better. I started off the day feeling pretty crummy though. I didn't eat much when I went out to lunch with my family after church.

I noticed that the Round-Up I sprayed a couple of weeks ago DID kill tons of stuff in the side yard... Even some creeping charlie that ran directly into my neighbor's yard. I know I didn't get any spray over into her yard that far. She's probably mad at me... (And I'll apologize, because I only meant to kill stuff in my own yard) But on the brighter side, a nasty weed that was in her yard is dead now. :) If I can get my brother to let me borrow his broadcast-spreader thing, and if I can get Dad to tell me what fertilizer to buy, I'll fertilize my yard, and I'll sprinkle some fertilizer where she's got dead spots too. (I really am embarrassed about that, even though I know she throws every stick that is in her yard right into my yard. How else do you explain the fact that she has tons of sticks one day, none the next, and NO sticks on the curb waiting to be picked up, and the sticks in my yard seem to pile up mysteriously right past her fence?)

So... lemme 'splain about the 5 year task. When I bought this house, I thought it was a much smaller house from the outside, because half of the house was hidden by trees that were planted about 6 inches from it. My goodness, my house was overgrown by a jungle! I mean, shade is nice, but they planted some of the crummiest weedy stuff like privet, and it just wrapped around the wires going to the house and scratched my car as I drove into the carport.

The one good choice in the flowerbed is a fuchsia (all right, I did find matching ones at the store once called "Coral Bells") azalea right by the front door... problem is, it's alone. There's been a stump on the other end of that bed since I moved in, and try as I might, I could never dig it up or pull it out. 5 years in a row, I couldn't get rid of that thing. Today it just popped out of the ground for me. :D Bye bye stump! Hello new shrubs! (I guess the anchoring roots finally rotted away.)

Now I've got to start thinning out my monkey grass (and I've got the TALL kind)... I'm tempted to use it to border my flowerbeds.... anybody have any opinions on that?

In case you're wondering why I've been posting so much lately... I think that I've been abandoned by someone I care a lot about, and I suppose I'm just trying to keep my mind off that and how sick I've been. It's made me pretty sad, but I don't feel like talking about it, since it's a familiar story to me. Rest assured, I don't actually talk this much in person.

I like the cyborg thingee... Kinda cute, huh? Yeah, that's me, getting closer and closer to not feeling anything anymore. Maybe that's the way to go after all. I'll bet things hurt a lot less that way. I found it at http://cyborg.namedecoder.com/

Easter Sale!

2006-04-16T09:53:00.000-05:00

All of my non-commercial use products (around 150 of them!) in the Digitals store are on sale for 25% off! This is a great time for you to stock up on lots of great items, including the Berry Sorbet Kit! Please drop by and check everything out! Happy Easter!

Pink Peeps have knocked me out...

2006-04-16T02:10:00.000-05:00

I know I said I needed to cut the sugar back out of my diet, but I wanted to try some Peeps before they're all gone tomorrow. I haven't had them since I was little, and I wasn't too impressed by a bunch of marshmallows back then. They were yummy. :) I got the little chicks because I think they're much cuter than the bunnies.

Holy cow, I know they're coated in sugar, (and nicely crunchy on the outside - just the sugar) but I only ate 3 of them and I'm feeling a serious sugar rush. Not a good one, but a hot sweaty feeling like my blood sugar level is about to completely freak out. I don't think I'll be eating any more Peeps tonight, because I'm feeling awfully strange at the moment. (Like I've been drinking, but I promise, I've had NO alcohol... just the Peeps.)

I think I'm gonna go get some Diet Sierra Mist and see if that doesn't cool me down some.

Saturday 8 - Restaurant Edition

2006-04-15T22:51:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd give this a try - seemed like an interesting way to take my mind off things for a little while. :)

1. name your favourite sit-down-and-be-served restaurant.
Um... I haven't been that many places.... kind of a tie between Red Lobster (someday I'll actually try the lobster), Applebee's, and O'Charley's.

2. name your favourite fast-food restaurant.
Taco Bell, though I'm really starting to crave that Reuben sandwich at Arby's. Uh huh, I like smoked salmon and cream cheese on bagels too. LOL But living in the south, you can't get that down here. Only time I ever had it was in New Jersey.

3. if you want something sweet, where do you go? (krispy kreme, dunkin donuts, convenience store, etc.)
If we had a Krispy Kreme closer than Memphis (75 miles away) I'd go by and get a doughnut. But since we don't, I'm stuck with Wal-Mart or a cup of hot chocolate. Oh well, I'm not supposed to have much sugar anyway.

4. at your favourite sit-down restaurant, what is your favourite dish?
Oriental Chicken Salad

5. at your favourite fast-food restaurant, what is your favourite meal?
Nachos Bell Grande with a lot of Fire Sauce

6. i never order dessert. is dessert on your menu for lunch or dinner if you eat out?
Only when I'm eating at Applebee's with a friend of mine. Rarely if I'm on a date (which is even more rare). Most men have an awful opinion of you if you want dessert. (Either you're a pig or you want them to spend too much money on you. Actually, I think they're too cheap.)

7. what is your favourite type of food? (mexican, greek, japanese, chinese, thai, italian, good 'ol all-american, etc.)
Chinese with Italian and Mexican running close behind. I'd like to try Indian sometime though. I still don't like sushi. I've tried it 3 times... the last time in a VERY nice sushi restaurant. But I still like wasabi flavored rice crackers and peas!

8. are you going out to a restaurant any time this weekend? why or why not?
Not unless it's a drive-thru. Going into a restaurant to eat by myself would be just too depressing.

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.
And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

What Donut Are You?

Yes I am warm and fuzzy!

2006-04-15T19:14:00.000-05:00

Just so that you don't get the wrong idea from the other Tshirt I made, here's one of the others that I made (actually, all of this stuff comes on all kinds of clothes and stuff like mugs and calendars). It's from a picture of my sister's dog Sadie, when she was a puppy. Yes, the very Sadie I adopted for exactly one night a few weeks ago... when they decided they couldn't live without her after all. LOL

Pup Art Tees and other stuff - shop

I didn't go to the prom.... sob!

2006-04-15T18:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, maybe I should 'fess up here. My school didn't allow us to have a prom.

The reasoning behind that decision was that it was "only a way for the rich kids to make the poor kids feel bad because they couldn't afford to buy expensive formals." Hmm. Okay, well it sounds altruistic, anyway. I certainly wasn't one of those rich kids, and my stepmother would definitely have not taken me shopping for a dress. But I did have a job, and I'd have gladly saved up for a prom dress. In fact, lots of kids without money had actual jobs. Go figure.

I was just watching "Pretty in Pink" again, and wondering if I'd have ended up in the same situation. Granted, the economic differences weren't quite as big for me as they were in that movie, and I'm sure nothing that dramatic would have happened, but dances and I don't get together for happy endings. LOL The simple truth is that I can't dance. Nobody ever taught me. It really isn't as simple as just getting out there and moving around. Do that, and you look like a frog in a blender. People laugh at frogs in blenders.

All right, I'll be honest. I don't actually believe in any of that romantic stuff that I've seen in movies anymore. Why? Lack of empirical evidence. It would be nice if men got ideas from watching some of those movies, but I honestly believe they only do that sort of thing if they're trying to manipulate a woman. And then you don't hear from them for a couple of weeks at a time, for no particular reason. Of course there's a reason, but it's their own personal agenda.

Anyway, I still love the music from that movie. :) Watching Andrew McCarthy and James Spader's not half bad either, though Jimmy does look like he's stoned through most of the movie. I'm just not a fan of that half-open eyes look...

Within a few short years of my graduation from high school, they reinstated having the prom there. Go figure.

Am I going to make it through the last 6 weeks of school?

2006-04-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

Personal Note: Thanks to everybody for their kind thoughts while I've been sick for the past few days. I never thought something so simple would run me down quite so badly, but it did. I'm just starting to feel back to normal this afternoon. Hopefully this is a good sign that my medicine is really doing its job. I slept 11 hours last night, if you don't count all the times someone or something woke me up.

My sister called me at about 7:30 am wanting advice for a friend sick with food poisoning - what should they do? Anything they should take? (I've had it about 3 times... and NO, it wasn't MY OWN COOKING that did it! Always someone else's!) I suggested saltine crackers, clear liquids, and jello that won't look nasty when it gets barfed back up.

Do NOT eat blue jello. Ever ever ever! (Okay, maybe that's my own fear of blueberry since I got sick back in kindergarten after eating BooBerry cereal. I'm sure it wasn't the cereal that did it, but you don't want to see what that stuff looks like after ... I did eat blue jello last March when I caught that bug that gave me a nasty case of gastroenteritis and a permanent gash-scar across my nose... ) And it still looks bad, even if it's just jello coming back.

That being said, I told her that there would be cold clammy sweats, and I was most comfortable on the cold bathroom floor, as flat as I could be. Preferably a tile floor, but my bathroom doesn't have tile. It's also not enough space to really stretch out on, which means Terra comes in to sniff around, checking to see if I'm okay. Giving me a case of the screaming heebie jeebies because my skin hurts too much to be touched at that point. Oh, and there's that thought that goes around in your brain that's almost a guarantee that it's food poisoning: the sure knowledge that you're about to die. Okay, so I haven't died yet, but I was convinced I would every time, and I was hoping it would happen before I got sick again. I also told her that maybe it would be a better idea for her friend to just go to the emergency room at the hospital, because real food poisoning is too dangerous to fool around with.

But if there's nobody around to see that you're really in danger, and you can't drive yourself or even drag yourself to a phone to call for help, then you have to deal with the fact that you have to take care of yourself (making the jello and all), and possibly die alone if it turns out that you have a fatal case of food poisoning or the complications do something nasty to you, like dehydrate you to death or your heart stops or something. Honestly, though, when I'm that sick I try not to dwell on just how many ways I could die from it.

Terra woke me up wanting to be let out at about 8, just after I'd gotten back to sleeping really well.
Somebody came knocking on the door wanting to sell something or other. When they didn't get an answer at the kitchen door, they went to the front of the house and started pounding on the wood door. I would like to tell them, if somebody doesn't answer ONE door, don't anger them by pounding on another door. You just might be aggravating a sick person who really needs her rest, and this is the ONLY day she can get it.

Of course I haven't dug up all the monkey grass and thinned it out. Of course I didn't get any priming done in the kitchen. Of course I haven't conquered the mountain of laundry. :( Those WERE my plans for the three day weekend, but when I get time off work, something always comes up so that I can't do what I should be doing.

I don't mean that as a whine. It's just an example of Murphy's Law. Actually, I think I'm gonna call what happens to me "Valarie's Law": When you have time off work, something always happens to keep you from doing what you really NEED to be doing. In this case, it's a double whammy of my original complaint plus a lovely sore throat that I woke up with yesterday morning. Both, of course, happened because I am "run down" right now and needing rest I should have gotten over spring break, but didn't because I wanted to help someone else.

For a middle school teacher who is constantly exposed to all sorts of icky germs because her attempts to teach students manners fall on deaf ears, I'm doing remarkably well at not catching stuff from them. That bottle of Germ-X behind my desk probably helped a lot this year. DEFINITELY going to keep using it.

The difference in how I use the Germ-X and how the kids use it:

Every time I go to the bathroom, I wash my hands with soap and water. I know there's "icky stuff" on my hands from touching their papers that I'd really like to get off my skin as much as possible. I also try to make a stop to wash my hands before lunch. I always squirt the Germ-X on my hands as I'm telling the kids to line up for lunch, for some extra insurance. And when I feel like I've touched something icky and can't run right to the bathroom, I use the Germ-X. (I used to not be so compulsive about cleaning my hands, but it couldn't hurt...)
The kids think that if they use Germ-X on their way to lunch, that takes care of everything. They don't believe me when I try to tell them that it doesn't actually remove dirt or any other icky items from their hands. They think it's a cure-all, and that it is TRULY a substitute for washing their hands... Even after they've just come out of the bathroom... The hand washing area of our bathrooms is open to the hallway, so we can see when they do or don't wash their hands... and we always nag them to wash whenever we can.

Well, I've only got to make it about 6 more weeks until school will be out. But I can predict right now that I'll be sick with allergy problems that cause me to just about lose my voice the last 2 or 3 days of the school year. It's happened the last two years, and it always coincides with our faculty end-of-year dinner. But it gets me out of singing karaoke in front of people who will make fun of me forever. No singing because I'd be coughing all over them. LOL

Drinking lots of water for my now more-dry-than-sore throat, and it seems to be helping. While I was seeing the doctor, they swabbed my throat to test for strep, and it came back negative, so it's just your average garden-variety sore throat for a teacher who talked way too much in the last week, trying to prepare her students for the state tests coming up week after next.

Want to know something truly funny? The kids have been asking me what we're going to do after those tests, as if I'll be at a loss for teaching material and I'm supposed to find some way to simply entertain them until May 26th. LOL I told them, "We're going to have class, just like we always do. You don't really think you've finished all of the 8th grade material, do you?" hehehe

Apparently they've had teachers in the past who just let them play for the last month of school after the tests are over. The teachers on my team have never felt that was a good idea. Toss 10% of the school year out the window when they still have so much to learn? No way! Yes, it does sound heavenly to just do my own thing and relax for the last month of school while they do their own thing and don't learn anything (I can think of so many fun things I could do other than my JOB), but I really think that's irresponsible of any teacher who does that. We're there to teach them, and I'll be teaching them until they're out of my sight. Hopefully, they'll still be learning from what I taught them, even after they're long gone from my sight. Isn't that the point?

You do know I'm a little paranoid, don't you? LOL

2006-04-15T12:36:00.000-05:00

I know, I've probably started sounding like a paranoid fruitcake, but ever since a certain nightmare (which is still crystal clear in my memory after all these years) that I had when I was in college, I've felt like there would be some point in the future when I'd have to grab what I could and just run. Probably some kind of weather emergency, given the recent worsening of tornadoes around here... and the increase in frequency of them. I'm going to point my finger right at global warming and say that it's already headed well into the danger zone. Here's a link to another article to help with that plan for "running" if you don't have that unshakeable confidence that you'll always be perfectly safe.

But really, does it hurt anything to be prepared, and years later look back and laugh at your paranoia? :D I'm hoping that's what I get to do someday, and not look back and realize I've had yet another premonition that really did come true. Good grief, I had that happen just a couple of weeks ago, and it only took a couple of days to really happen, although the dream was just horrible and scary, and the real life part was just fine.

In An Emergency, It's Ready-Set-Go

American Red Cross Links
(These have instructions for all KINDS of disasters... tornadoes, mudslides, earthquakes, blackouts, chemical emergencies, drought, fires, floods, heat waves, hurricanes, terrorism, thunderstorms, tsunami, volcanoes, wildfires, and winter storms):

Get Prepared
Prepare at Your Home
Prepare at School
Prepare at Work
Prepare in Your Community

Create a really complete disaster prep kit - including a 24 week plan for building a large kit.

The Book of Me by Angie Pederson

2006-04-11T22:24:00.000-05:00

I got this book in from Amazon yesterday, and I have to say, it's a really neat book for creating scrapbook pages about your own life. I don't seem to have any problem making pages with my family in them, but it's the same as the picture situation... I'm just not there. Seems like everybody's glad to leave all the picture taking to me, and they don't care if I'm in any of the pictures. I finally got to the point of handing the camera to my nephew and asking him to take some random pictures with me in them, so that I'd have them someday. :) He very nicely cooperated, and digital cameras make things easy anyway. Even his little brother took a really nice picture of me when he was 7.

Anyway, I was going thru the chapters starting some sample layouts with some random thoughts, and it got more and more depressing the further along I went. It bothered me when I got to the "Soul Mate" chapter and I realized I couldn't put anything there. And of course the next chapter is the one where you gush over your children... and never having found the love of my life, of course I don't have any children either. :) Then the "Homemaker" chapter. Sheesh. Somehow I just don't think you can call me that when it just refers to one person. I think I'll have to call it "Houseowner" because it doesn't feel like a home here by myself. I know I can agree that I'm glad that at least I'm not paying rent. And I'll admit something right now... my house is always messy because I'm always unhappy here by myself. What's the point of turning this place into Martha Stewart's hangout when I'm just about the only one who'll ever really look at it? It's hatred for the space and situation that makes me disrespect it this way.

So I've come to the conclusion that my "book of me" will wind up being pretty short. But there won't be anybody to read it anyway, so I guess it won't matter. LOL Having to skip all those chapters of the book... feels like a painful reminder that I've had to skip those same chapters in my life. I think I'd almost rather go back to just sticking my thousands of pictures of everyone else into scrapbooks than taking such a close look at myself.

I'll probably substitute layouts of my dog where my kids should have been, but there's no way on earth I'm going to commemorate any of the few ex-boyfriends I've had. None of that ever turned out well, so why would I want to remember any of them? Well, maybe I could do a special page where I could remember what it was about each one that makes me glad they got out of my life. Is that mean? :) Or is it just fair, considering what they each put me through?

Don't get me wrong... the book is absolutely wonderful. On the other hand, I am not, so I'm going to have a hard time committing to my project that just oozes depression. I have to admit that I'm a little jealous looking through some of the stories in the book that describe how that person is so thankful they had that special person beside them all the time for support. That must be nice. :)

Gardening and Tan in a Tube, part 2!

2006-04-11T00:03:00.000-05:00

Well, it's working well enough that after using it for one night, I was asked at work on Monday morning what was different about me. LOL The teacher who asked said that she thought it was something about my makeup or that I look thinner or something. I asked if maybe it might be that I look a bit more tan, and she realized that's what the difference was. Apparently the results are pretty natural looking.

Nice tan, no sun, no heat, no risk of skin cancer? No problem here! LOL

Although I'll admit I did mow the yard today (and there WERE big dead patches of crunchy brown weeds, though nowhere near enough to kill it all) and I almost got the whole thing mowed. But in the back yard, which is shadowed most of the day, that tall grass was wet and kept clogging up the mower. You can't ever let it get ahead of you or you have to cut the mower off every 10 feet to unclog it. (Like I'm gonna unclog it with the blade going! NOT!!) Then restart it... Crummy job, lemme tell ya.

I got some big patches finished back there. It should give me enough to start with tomorrow. *sigh* I hate mowing my yard. I also discovered several new ankle-breaker holes while I was mowing, and the old pecan tree stump that I pulverized a couple of years ago has apparently started settling itself into a GIGANTIC hole in the backyard. I think that a couple of shovelfuls of dirt won't fix the problem... At some point this year, I think I'm going to have to get about half a truckload of dirt brought in and fix some places in the yard. It would just make me feel better if I could get the whole thing fairly flat. There are always dips that I can't get the mower to cut well enough.

I think my plan last summer to put hostas under the trees, to choke out the weeds may have been a good one after all. The dogwood tree's hostas have almost all come back up (I had to transplant one new one, and of course, it was the one that was facing the road that left me an empty spot, LOL), and with the rate those things grow in my yard, I think in a couple more weeks they'll be so huge that I won't have to mow under the dogwood tree until next spring. I'm tempted to fertilize the hostas. mwaaaahaaahaaa! nah, they don't really need it. They grow insanely anyway.

The mulch ring under the pear tree was all but choked out by creeping charlie, and I spent about an hour on my hands and knees laboriously pulling it all out by the roots. (Until I completely lost the grip in my hands, and then I had to quit. Carpal tunnel syndrome, anyone?) It was tangled into the pine needles, so I was left with bare black soil showing. Obviously, the rotting pine needles and newspaper underneath helped a whole lot there. Hmm.. Wonder if I can transplant some more hostas there now, and if they'll grow well enough before summer gets here that they'll choke out the bad stuff too?

No villagers with pitchforks and torches at my door, but the teenage boy across the street didn't seem to have a problem with sitting on his front steps and just staring at me while I worked. Doesn't he have any idea how rude that is?

Tan in a tube... LOL

2006-04-10T00:07:00.000-05:00

Okay... after seeing my sister's fabulous... and very fake tan, I've decided to try it out myself. Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer (and skin darkener) is what I'm using. Actually, I tried some one night last week, and I was surprised by the results. I did have to dig into my first aid kit for gloves though. No way am I gonna have monkey palms just for a tan!

By the next morning, I DID see a difference, though she and Matthew both said that they saw a decided glow before I left their house that night. Yay! I'd rather not have to depend on getting into a tanning bed. Last year I nearly fried myself, and when we went to 6 Flags, the boys kept forgetting NOT to slap Aunt Val on her very sunburned back and shoulders.

Hmm.... Seems like drinking water in the park made me feel really faint that day. (Okay, the truth is that I almost DID faint that day, several times, and I was just too embarrassed to tell my sister and her family the truth about it. It could've been a mild case of heatstroke on top of my sunburn. Seems like nothing made me feel any better other than Sprite, and usually I don't drink sodas at amusement parks because the excessive sugar levels mess with MY blood sugar levels too much and make me feel sick. Normally I bring in a collapsible water bottle and premeasured packets of Gatorade. (I thought of doing that with Gatorade and Crystal Light back in early 2002... long before the Crystal Light company ever did it. Makes me wonder sometimes if they read my post about doing that on the Disney For Less bulletin board that I posted my suggestion for doing it on. Big hint: Yes, all the water fountains in Disney World have warm, swampy water... But the water in the bathroom sinks is cold and very nice tasting.)

On the other hand, I was in the middle of a huge weight loss stretch, but it was happening mainly because I wasn't eating. A bite in the morning, a nibble in the afternoon, nothing after 5 pm... not enough to keep me alive, so it's no wonder I lost weight. But I wasn't hungry, either. I did think it was weird that day at 6 Flags after I'd had that near-fainting spell, when I finally got some more Sprite in me and we came upon that stand selling roasted ears of corn... They all ate off one, and neither of the kids wanted a bite of mine. Maybe as hollow as my cheeks were looking, I just looked like I should eat all of the corn myself. LOL

Ever sprayed Round-Up on your entire yard?

2006-04-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I did last Saturday. LOL I was upset that I have literally knee-high weeds of every variety in my yard, and no actual grass. (Opportunistic little monsters.) I called my dad to ask him what kind of chemical (and I hate all the environmentally unsound stuff, but vinegar wouldn't cut it for my entire yard of weeds) to spray, and he sleepily answered "Round-Up." On the whole yard?!?!? Yep, the whole thing. The Bermuda grass is still dormant, so I'd only be killing weeds anyway.

Now, I know that the commercials show the sprayed weeds yellowing, wilting, and dying within 24 hours of application, but it just doesn't happen that way in real life. It's been 8 days, and I'm just now beginning to see that stuff really dying off. I THINK it might have worked.

I'm also pretty positive that I missed lots of places in my quest to cover every square inch of the front yard, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Every dead weed helps. I'll get them later, mwaa haaa haa.

I'm SURE my neighbors hate me because they've all mowed their yards at least twice by now, and I haven't mowed mine once yet. But let's look at the facts: They either have two adults in the house, and one does the yard mowing while the other takes care of all the other stuff like cooking and cleaning...., or they have a teenager who has to do the mowing, or they don't work (retired) so they have all the time in the world to mow anyway. At my house, it's just me doing ALL of the work, plus working full time to the tune of about 50 hours a week. I can't even pay my nephew to mow mine anymore, and I gladly WOULD, but he seems to think that he should be getting paid $20-$25 for a 45 minute mowing job, when I supply the gas and the mower. Holy cow, I'm a teacher and I don't make that much an hour!!!

And I've got a bone to pick with my neighbors anyway. If they'd kill the weeds in their yards, I could kill them in my yard, and we'd only have minor maintenance to do. But noooo.. they won't do anything about dandelions or anything else, and if one person has dandelions, EVERY yard has dandelions. Might as well start picking the flowers and making some nasty-tasting wine from them.

IF the Round-Up really did work and my yard really is 90% weeds, I'm gonna have big dead patches in the yard. LOL Well, there's always sod! It's not like I don't have a big landscaping job ahead of me anyway... I need shrubs and I've got a flowerbed to revitalize... The one that my sister and I created a couple of years ago is overgrown and needs to be redug now. (and I'm so looking forward to pulling out all that plastic and seeing just how much grass and Creeping Charlie are tangled into it...)

What are the chances of my being able to take a week to make that flowerbed nice again? Would the villagers appear at my door with pitchforks, spears, and torches if I didn't get it finished in one day's time?

Spam - here we go again...

2006-04-09T13:20:00.000-05:00

Again with the spam - what is wrong with you people??? Do you honestly think that you have the right to add your stupid stuff to our personal comment sections?

And do you honestly think that anyone is interested enough in what you're selling to really go to these sites you're illegally advertising?

Well, if you were anything other than a cowardly fool, you'd use your real name instead of an anonymous posting and you'd provide your personal email so that we could see YOU in court paying millions of dollars for your spamming. But no, you're too chicken.

So if you want to comment on my blog, you're going to have to be a registered user. And if I don't like what you say, your comment will never see the light of day. How do ya like them apples, as my grandmother used to say?

Somehow, I'll bet that this T-shirt I made would perfectly describe you. So far, everybody that has seen me wear it has absolutely loved it. :) It was inspired by an ex- uh... I guess you'd call him an ex-boyfriend, but he never really acted like much of a boyfriend.

Anyway, if you have the urge to hang out with Hannibal Lecter like I sometimes do (though I have to admit the whole cannibalism thing really does gross me out, and at times just the regular meat on my plate has been in a condition that made me either want to hurl or become a vegetarian - I'd rather go hungry), please, be my guest and buy a T-shirt or any of the other stuff like boxers, mugs, coasters, journals, aprons, and pillows that have this sentiment on them. Wouldn't bother me a bit, since I've spent tons of hours working on all of my designs, and I've got to pay for the store space somehow anyway!

Get my psychotic T-shirts and other stuff here!

So far, I think someone has bought a mug. :D But it said, "Whatever!" LOL And there was the T-shirt with the guy going "nyah nyah" and saying Whatever! that my sister commissioned, but that was just a gift.

I actually started the store because lots of the other teachers at the school where I teach have been telling me for years that if I'll make T-shirts or sweatshirts with our school name or mascot on them, they'll buy them. So that's why you see lots of Trojan stuff there, and why you're going to see lots more Trojan stuff too. heheeh Heck, *I* never can find any Trojan stuff to wear for school spirit!!! Might as well make my own, right?

A vacation dream

2006-04-08T20:02:00.000-05:00

I'm sure lots of people know by now that I'd planned to go on a cruise last October. It didn't happen. Seems like I was the only person who really wanted to go, in the group. It would have been my first vacation since 2002. Actually, I don't get to go many places, being single. (I got to go on a vacation sometime around 1995 before that... and didn't get a choice in where I went or what I did. Matter of fact, I got treated like a child - someone expected me to ask her permission to go places by myself, and said nasty, mean things to me when I tried to find some way to entertain myself that didn't fall under her scheme.)

And no matter what anybody may think, the thought of going off someplace all by myself and having to spend all that time alone just isn't appealing. Sure, it sounds wonderful to the married people I know, but for someone who's always alone already... I might as well be stuck at home with nobody to talk to than spending a few thousand dollars being lonely too.

Hey, if going off on a vacation by myself actually worked, I'd go. I really would. But I've done it before, and I know how it works out. Always by myself, the whole time.

Anyway, I've given up on the thought of a cruise. They're really a reward for families and people who've actually been able to find someone to care for them. :) I don't fall into that category, as you can guess. There's really no such thing as a "singles" cruise unless you don't mind actually being part of the crew on one of those Windjammer cruises, and I can just see myself trying to fit in with the crowd there. It would be like an episode of Survivor, but instead of them voting me off the island, they'd just push me overboard in the middle of nowhere. Either that or I'd be so bothered that, because I wasn't one of the 20-something "hotties" on the boat that nobody would even talk to me, I'd wind up spending all of my waking hours literally working on the boat, just wishing it was over.

I would like to go to Atlantis sometime though. Whenever I went swimming as a little girl, I liked sitting down on the bottom of the pool and looking up at the sky through that weird light diffusion that the water surface does. It was nice and quiet -- the only problem was that there was nothing to look at unless other people were in the pool, and then you could look at.... their legs. Some actual scenery would be nice, you know? All those shades of blue and green... nice and peaceful. :) I even wear them sometimes, though they only look good when I have a tan, since my un-tanned skin tone is kind of olive.

I'm not sure if my interest in all of that underwater stuff started because I liked reading the original "The Little Mermaid" (Disney's version is unforgivable!) in third grade, or because I saw "Warlords of Atlantis" on HBO at about the same time. All right, stop laughing... I thought it was a seriously cool movie, except for that giant octopus that pulled the ship down. Put that together with "Jaws" and you've created a serious lifelong distrust of dark ocean water for this girl. If I can see through the water, I'm fine with it. It's what I can't see that scares me. LOL

And when we went to Florida in 1978, I didn't yet know how to swim (though my sister did), but my stepmother forced us to get out into the Atlantic in water to my shoulders, with an undertow. I was thinking "sharks". In the pool, I was thinking "sharks in the deep end". Quite an active imagination, but now that I think about it, maybe my stepmother was trying to see if she could drown me? Hmm..

Well, now I can swim and I don't care if I die or not, but I think I'd like to go to Atlantis. :) I'd take tons of pictures, and I'd do my darnedest to take some on my way down the water slides through the shark tank, too. Snorkeling, scuba diving, parasailing... all of it sounds like fun to me.

Anybody out there want to take a trip with me? They've got some packages that are REALLY reasonable in price....

New Berry Sorbet Kit at Digitals

2006-04-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

This is the newest kit that I've made at Digitals. I called it Berry Sorbet because of some of the frosty tones, and especially that berry pink that you see in it. :) I wish that the fibers in the background would show up better, though, because they're pretty different from anything I've seen or done before - they're made up of multicolored fern fronds.

I think I'm going to add in some close-up detail pictures so that people can see just what neat textures are really in this kit. Being kept to a seriously low size restriction on the picture sizes keeps the resolution pretty low, and none of the details show up effectively. But I understand why it's necessary.

After staying up till 2:30 last night, I overslept until 2:30 today. Darn it! I didn't mean to sleep that long! I've lost literally half of the day, and I had a ton of things I needed to do! I guess I finally got the sleep I've been missing out on the past few weeks, but I'll wind up having to stay up late tonight to get anything done, and start the whole ugly process all over again. I'm surprised that Terra didn't wake me up wanting to go outside. Maybe sleeping with the window open made her sleep too deeply too. All that fresh air we're not used to.

Hehehehe... new T-shirt!

2006-04-08T02:22:00.000-05:00

I just came back from visiting my Dad (and yes, it IS 2 am....) and he gave me a T-shirt that came with his new computer....

It's a black one that says "Geek Squad". LOL I can't believe nobody else in my family wanted it. I'm loving it!!!

My sister has been calling me a geek ever since she first heard the word. It used to hurt my feelings, but now I kinda like it. I think it means that they think I'm smart. hehehe

After all, I'm the geek that she taught to wallpaper a couple of weeks ago... and wound up outpacing her immediately, 2 sheets to her one. LOL

I'm also the geek that painted a significant part of her new house instead of resting during my spring break. I got ONE day to rest, while the rest of the world got 2 weeks. Is it any wonder I'm so worn out lately? I didn't have time to do the stuff I really needed to do - get my hair cut and colored (I'm 35 and my hair is 50% silver, naturally), get the oil changed in my car, organize things in my own house, buy a new washer, wash my backlog of laundry, get my eyes checked (only a year overdue for the last exam, and I'm still wearing the same pair of disposable contacts that I've had in for the last 4 months... you're only supposed to wear them for a week!), paint in MY house....

Deadlines I can't meet, end of the school year approaching, state tests in 2 weeks, family crisis, students getting some serious 8th-grade-itis and bad attitudes of "school's almost out and I'm not going to behave" (oh yes they are!), parents screaming at me that I should leave all discipline of their kid to THEM at home - when their kid is a monster at school and wrecking most of our (not just my) classes.

Sorry, I'm NOT going to let whatever he does just sliiiiiide until he gets home and then see if his parents will do something to help me with running my class. It isn't their business to decide whether or not I am allowed to control my classroom environment, and my boss DID tell me I was NEVER to put up with any kid talking back to me, and ESPECIALLY not yelling back at me. They've never offered to help me before, so why do these parents think I'm going to let them tell me how to do my job now? Especially when they don't even know what they are talking about. Here's something said, as if I was supposed to be intimidated, "Well, I have a bachelor's degree in engineering...." blah blah blah... What would he have done if I'd come right back at him with "WELL, *I* have a MASTER'S degree in education , and nearly 15 years of practical experience with children this age..."

Oooh. I guess I'm getting angry about this again.

But tell me, who's more qualified to know how to do my job? Him or me? These people were angry that they couldn't get me alone in a room and threaten me, and that their kid's other teachers and the assistant principal were there as well to confirm that the kid acted just as badly around them. In fact, they kept saying that they wanted to talk to me alone, and they didn't really want the other people there. If they'd tried to get me alone and been anything but very nice and polite, I would have walked off and not put up with it.

Sorry, we don't allow that sort of intimidation attempt to go on. We like to keep things on the level. Besides, these people don't understand that the nice, quiet, calm me that didn't say much after they started screaming unfounded insults at me, isn't the true angry me that lurks under the surface and might come out some day if I feel cornered or threatened. I think that some people honestly believe that teachers are somehow required to put up with abuse from children and their parents. I don't think they would accept it if I started to harass *them*, so it wouldn't be a good idea for them to try it with me.

I never say anything to indicate how angry I am about anything when I'm at work. I'm very quiet. I wouldn't want to say hurtful things to another person, which of course, other people have no qualms about doing to me. (The guilt would eat me alive.) I feel that I'm a pretty well-controlled person, even though I actually have a lot more of a burden on my soul than your average person does, only a couple of other people know about it, and they don't know all of the bad stuff that's happened to me. (Even family doesn't need to know everything in your life that's hurt you, right?) Most likely, I'll keep the whole story to myself until the day I die, and this ulcer will keep getting worse.

I suspect that guy that I like is pretty relieved that I've stopped telling him everything that's on my mind. LOL I've figured out by now that though yes, I love him, I'm positive he doesn't feel the same about me. I expected that; it's the usual response. And I haven't exactly had a reason to think that he really does have any feelings for me.... obviously it was just a case of wishful thinking (and at least I wasn't under some goofy illusion). I would hate to tell him and have him confirm it verbally, though. But I know it would take too much effort to have a real relationship with me.

Anyway, I have a kitchen to start getting ready for painting. The entire thing is varnished knotty pine. Ick. It's going to take me the rest of my natural life, but at least it will be something to do while I'm home alone. :)

And I do have that cool new T-Shirt. :D That has to be the absolute high point of my weekend.

More tornado deaths in Tennessee... :(

2006-04-07T19:27:00.000-05:00

It was just on Sunday that my county (Dyer County) and several other west Tennessee counties, along with several areas of southeastern Missouri and northeastern Arkansas, got hit with several tornadoes. I think the last body count in my town was 16. It was really bad. Entire families died all over the area, and even brick homes were destroyed.

You hear about people dying because they stayed in their mobile homes, and then people shake their heads, saying that they should have been in a sturdier structure. Well... this series of tornadoes (3 here in Dyer County, they think, all F3s) definitely made me change my mind about that. Like I said, several people died who were in "safe" "sturdy" brick and mortar structures. I guess that just goes to show all of us that nothing is really a safe shelter.

Whenever a storm approaches now, I start worrying about what I should do - go into my bathroom, which is supposed to be the safest room in the house? It's right between a gas water heater and a gas heating unit. I have a feeling I might be flambeed. Oh, and there's the 50 year old pecan tree leaning over that end of my house too. What do I do? Sometimes I think I'm better off staying in the living room, watching the weather alerts on the tv.

Today I seriously considered driving to the school where I work, and going into our teachers' bathroom in my team area. I'd be surrounded by cinderblock walls and plumbing that goes probably farther into the ground than what's in my house. Somehow I'd feel safer in that room at the school than at my own house. The school, at least, was built with earthquake standards in mind (we're due for a catastrophic earthquake any day now). No, I don't see any point in sitting around worrying about this stuff, because fear just makes you unable to respond appropriately in an emergency. But let me get back to the point.

We knew there were more storms coming today, and were glad when we heard they'd miss us, and go to the south. I just saw a news bulletin that said at least 10 people died in the central part of the state this evening because of those storms and the tornadoes that they spawned. I feel terrible. What is it that's causing Tennessee to get slammed with tornadoes all over the state this week? The only part that hasn't been hit has been the eastern third.

Well, I came across this article, and I think it's worth reading. I've been putting together some emergency kits at home and at work, just to ease my paranoia, for about the past year and a half, but this one discusses some points I hadn't thought about.

Don’t Freak Out
Top 10 Tips for Surviving a Disaster in Your Vehicle

Update on the change...

2006-04-07T18:48:00.000-05:00

Previously, my blog was hosted at www.digitalscrapbookpages.com, where I am a designer. I was happy with how that worked, except for one HUGE problem... a lot of pornographic spam started hitting our blogs there, and the site owners really didn't have the time and resources to sit and clean our blogs for us on a daily basis.

And let me tell you, some of the stuff that was on there was just sickening. Yuck.

As a matter of fact, I sat in front of the computer one evening just to clean out some backtrack links, and it took me over an hour! Since my purpose in having a blog is not to discuss things of that nature, I had no problem understanding when Digitals decided to take the blogs section offline. However, they are keeping a list of links to the designers' blogs up, which we really appreciate. Thanks Stacey and Rick! You guys are great!

I'll be importing my old blog entries later when I get a chance, so if by some strange twist of fate you were entertained by something I said in the past, you might have a chance to see it again here. And if not... well, nyah nyah! hehehe Okay, I guess you can tell I'm feeling a tiny little bit better today, despite all of the crud that's been going on with my personal life and my professional life.

It's all pretty overwhelming; I'll just leave it at that. I think I have an ulcer, and if I really do, I guess I've had it for years because it's been hurting off and on in the same place whenever things get too stressful. Well, as Scarlett says, "I'll think about that tomorrow." The really ironic thing about is that it probably comes from holding in a lot of stuff that I should probably express and talk about, and I'm sure it seems to the few people that I talk to openly about things that bother me, that I just won't shut up and stop whining.

LOL They have noooooo idea just how much I really bottle up. What I tell is never more than the tip of a big, hidden iceberg like the one Titanic hit. Maybe that's why I have migraines... all those demons trying to get out of my head. ;)

Wasabi Funyuns, the Rematch!

2006-04-07T18:16:00.000-05:00

When I get my previous blog posts transferred over, I'm sure that this will make more sense, but I'll say that since I tried Wasabi Funyuns in Texas in October, I've developed a serious love for anything Wasabi.

My cousin Paul (dear soul that he is!) sent me a bunch of rice crackers because I can't find them around here (WAAAHHHHH!!!!!), and he can get them where he lives. Oh, I really enjoyed them!!! Heaven, I was definitely in Heaven. :D

He had to take a trip to Texas this week, and being intrigued by my previous blog about Wasabi Funyuns (which aren't available ANYWHERE east of the Mississippi River that I know of!), found some and tried them out. And he's sending me some bags of them. Yay! My hero all over again!!!

Only one problem though... How will I keep a tight reign on the temptation to eat them all at once??? I've heard a horrible rumor that Frito-Lay has stopped making them - and they didn't even give the whole country a chance to try them! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Not fair!!!!

Valarie's Blog

15 FastScraps Templates in the store!

Busy lately, and SICK!

Getting Back to Work

American Pride Stars And Stripes Alphabet

Tie-Dyed Alphabet Letters in store

Other stuff in the works / brain damage?

Coming very soon for July!

Quincy is quiet!

I'm Baaaack! LOL

Last Day of School....

Yay! New Calendar Kits!

Sometimes being right is just no good at all

My dog was eating my spinach

Kitchen painting time... ick

National Scrapbook Day - Digitals Scrapbook Week Celebration!

At last a decent shower... I hope...

Wow! 19 days of school left!

United 93

Waaaah! I sound awful!

I hate oak trees...

Perfect Illustration of Irony

Just completed 5 years of work :D

Easter Sale!

Pink Peeps have knocked me out...

Saturday 8 - Restaurant Edition

Yes I am warm and fuzzy!

I didn't go to the prom.... *sob!*

Am I going to make it through the last 6 weeks of school?

You do know I'm a little paranoid, don't you? LOL

The Book of Me by Angie Pederson

Gardening and Tan in a Tube, part 2!

Tan in a tube... LOL

Ever sprayed Round-Up on your entire yard?

Spam - here we go again...

A vacation dream

New Berry Sorbet Kit at Digitals

Hehehehe... new T-shirt!

More tornado deaths in Tennessee... :(

Update on the change...

Wasabi Funyuns, the Rematch!

I didn't go to the prom.... sob!